Meringue Buttercream Cupcakes, aka heart attack on plate

This recipe is one of the more complicated I have tried, the cupcake is easy, but the meringue is kinda nuts. You really do have to follow the instructions closely or it will be another EPIC COOK FAIL. But honestly, these things are freaking amazing and everyone that tries one will be permanently indebted to you. This is not the best cupcake for a cookout, unless it’s kept indoors. Serve at room temperature, but store in the fridge before an event.


Cupcakes:
1 cup unsalted butter
2 cups sugar
1 1/4 teaspoons vanilla extract
4 eggs
3 cups sifted cake flour
1 tablespoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 cup milk
Regular or silver cupcake paper liners

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.

Before starting sift together the dry ingredients in a smaller bowl.

In a larger bowl, cream the butter until light and fluffy with a mixer on a higher speed. Add the sugar and continue to cream. Gradually add the vanilla and eggs and mix in well. Add the dry ingredient mix into the butter mixture alternating with the milk. Pour batter into cupcake paper-lined muffin tins filling them 3/4 full. (careful though, all that baking powder makes them rise abnormally fast) Bake until puffed and firm in the center and light golden brown on top, about 20 to 25 minutes. Let cool.


Meringue:
5 eggs whites (large)
1 1/4 cup extra-fine granulated sugar
1/4 water
3 sticks unsalted butter, soft

Directions

Set out the ingredients and equipment.

Separate the egg whites and place them in the bowl

Measure 1 cup of sugar with 1⁄4 cup water into a heavy bottom 1-2 quart pot. Gently stir to combine.

Measure 1⁄4 cup sugar into a small bowl and set aside. (this is for the egg mixture)

Cut the butter into tablespoon size pieces and set aside

Begin heating the sugar syrup. Place the pot with the sugar and water over medium-high heat. Keep lid on it, keeps the moisture inside and prevents the sugar from separating.

Begin whipping the egg whites to stiff peak in a standing mixer fitted with the wire whip attachment on high speed. When the meringue is stiff peak, keep the mixer running and pour the 1⁄4 cup of sugar into the meringue.

Test the temperature of the sugar syrup with a candy thermometer. Raise the heat to bring the syrup to 245°F if it is not there already. When the syrup is at 245°F remove from heat and slowly pour the syrup into the meringue. (This is serious stuff people. It’s best to have standing mixer, but I sure as hell don’t so make sure you have a strong arm to pour it every so slowly. If you think it doesn’t matter, you’ll have solid sugar adhered to the bottom of your bowl and you will have to start again)

When pouring, keep your eye on the bowl. Aim for the space between the mixer bowl and the revolving wire whip. And keep an even flow.

After 1-2 minutes reduce the speed to medium for about 3-4 minutes or until the meringue is cooled.

Add the butter one tablespoon at a time. Hike the speed up now to fully incorporate the butter.

To ‘ice’ the cupcakes, it’s much easier to put it in a decorating tube and just kinda swirl it up on top. But don’t handle it too much, remember how much butter is in there. I topped mine off with a few dark chocolate chips.

If basic vanilla is too…well, basic…try these additives:
1-2 tsp vanilla extract or the seeds of 1 vanilla bean
1⁄4 cup of raspberry puree
1⁄2 cup of melted, cooled chocolate
2-4 tablespoons of amaretto depending on your preference

Brownies to make anyone jealous

Caramel and Chocolate brownies with marshmallows and M&M's on top.

I have people begging me for these things week after week at work. The key is to only bring them in at random, keep them guessing...and salivating.

You can do this one of two ways...be cheap and lazy and just get a box of brownie mix (plus you'll need the items listed in blue)...or...be a Betty Crocker and make them from scratch. If you opt to do the box mix, follow the instructions on the box and then move down the page until you see a bright blue STOP.

For homemade brownies begin here:

Ingredients:

• 4 squares Unsweetened Baking Chocolate
• 3/4 cup butter or margarine
• 2 cups sugar
• 4 eggs
• 1 cup flour
• 30 Caramels
• 2 tablespoons milk
• 1 (12 ounce) package Semi-Sweet Chocolate Chunks
  
• bag of mini M&M's
• bag of the smaller jet-puffed marshmallows
  

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Line a 13x9-inch glass baking pan with foil, with ends of foil extending over sides of pan. Grease foil.
2. Place chocolate squares and butter in large microwaveable bowl. Microwave on HIGH 2 minutes or until butter is melted. Stir until it until the chocolate is completely melted. Add sugar; mix well. Blend in eggs. Add flour; mix well. Spread mix into dish.
   
3. Bake 20 minutes. At the 20 min mark pull out of oven and sprinkle marshmallows over the top. Place back into oven for 10 minutes. Once the 10 minutes passes make sure the brownies are done by testing with a toothpick. DO NOT OVERBAKE. If done, sprinkle with M&M's
   
4. Meanwhile, place caramels and milk in microwaveable bowl. Microwave on HIGH 2-1/2 minutes, stirring after 1 minute. Stir until caramels are completely melted and mixture is well blended. Gently spread over brownie in pan; sprinkle with chocolate chunks. Cool in pan on wire rack. Lift brownies from pan, using foil handles. Cut into 36 squares. Store in tightly covered container at room temperature.

STOP HERE IF YOU ARE THE LAZY ONES:

1. At the 20 min mark pull out of oven and sprinkle marshmallows over the top. Place back into oven for 10 minutes. Once the 10 minutes passes make sure the brownies are done by testing with a toothpick. DO NOT OVERBAKE. If done, sprinkle with M&M's
   
2. Meanwhile, place caramels and milk in microwaveable bowl. Microwave on HIGH 2-1/2 minutes, stirring after 1 minute. Stir until caramels are completely melted and mixture is well blended. Gently spread over brownie in pan; sprinkle with chocolate chunks. Cool in pan on wire rack. Lift brownies from pan, using foil handles. Cut into 36 squares. Store in tightly covered container at room temperature.

Cake Pops

I totally went with the latest and greatest confectionery craze by making spring/easter related cake pops. They tasted great, but I wasn't really into putting too much effort in the decorating department. Check out Bakerella's blog for the real deal, and here is where you learn to make them.

Georgah! Peach Pie.

If you live in Georgia you should probably know how to make a decent peach pie...I mean every other street has the word 'peach' in it...Peachtree, Peachford, Peachling, PEACH! So that is why I decided to conquer this pie. It turned out pretty darn good.

Ingredients:

• 2 nine inch pie crusts (you can be a cheater and buy the pre-made stuff if you must)
  
• 1 egg, beaten well
  
• 5 cups sliced peeled peaches (I used about 6 1/2 nice sized peaches)
  
• 3 tablespoons lemon juice
• 1/2 cup all-purpose flour
• 1 cup white sugar
• 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 4 tablespoons butter

Directions:
Pre-heat your over to 450 degrees.

Lay one of the pie crusts in a pie dish. Brush with some of the beaten egg to keep the dough from becoming soggy and gross later.

Slice and peel your peaches. Try to keep them mostly the same size so they cook even. But don't be a dork and measure them to the exact size.

Place the sliced peaches in a large bowl, and sprinkle with lemon juice. Mix gently.

In a separate bowl, mix together the flour, sugar, cinnamon, nutmeg and salt. Pour over the peaches, and mix gently. Try to use all the flour and sugar mixture. Sprinkle the left over into the pie dish and over the peaches.
Pour into the pie crust, and drop cubes of butter over the top of the pie. Cover with the other pie crust, and fold the edges under. Flute the edges (you know push 'em together and seal with a fork) to seal with a fork dipped in egg. Brush the remaining egg over the top crust. Cut several slits in the top crust to vent steam.
Bake for 10 minutes in the preheated oven, then reduce the heat to 350 degrees F and bake for an additional 30 to 35 minutes, until the crust is brown and the juice begins to bubble through the vents. If the edges brown too fast, cover them with strips of aluminum foil about halfway through baking but be sure not to burn yourself...it's HOT. Cool before serving.

Cupcakes as Motivation

In my personal hell workplace we don't celebrate anything, mostly because we are either too busy or too lazy to actually put anything together. We NEVER eat any type of meal so we often snack on Swedish Fish and Milk Duds. So I decided to be coercive sweet and make something for St. Patty's day. I made my cupcakes, frosting and fondant from scratch...yes I have lost my ever loving mind!!! But hey, they are pretty! (make the fondant a day or so prior to your cupcake adventure)

Cupcake Recipe:

• 3 cups cake flour sifted
• 2 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1 3/4 cups granulated sugar
• 2/3 cup butter or margarine
• 2 eggs
• 1 1/4 cups milk
• 1 1/2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract

Directions:

Preheat oven to 350°F. Throw some decorative cupcake liners in a cupcake pan and feel proud they aren't the boring pastels from the local grocery store. Sift together flour, baking powder and salt; set aside. In a large-ish bowl cream sugar and butter together until light. (cream means to USE the hand mixer) Add eggs and vanilla to creamed mixture and beat until thoroughly mixed. Add flour mixture to creamed mixture alternately with milk, beating well after each addition. Continue beating one minute, you'll notice the color changing to a lighter color and getting more 'airy'. Pour into your pretty and creative cups. Bake 20-25 minutes or until toothpick inserted comes out clean. Cool 10 minutes in pan on rack; remove and cool completely before decorating.

Chocolate Frosting:

• 2 3/4 cups confectioners' sugar
• 6 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder
• 6 tablespoons butter, softened
  
• 5 tablespoons evaporated milk (regular milk will work too, don't freak out)
  
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Directions:

1. In a medium bowl, sift together the confectioners' sugar and cocoa, and set aside. Sifting is imperative, It gets out the annoying clumps that will come back to haunt you in your cupcake nightmares.
2. In a large bowl, cream butter until smooth, then gradually beat in sugar mixture alternately with evaporated milk. (do the sugar mixture slowly, or you'll end up inhaling waaaay too much into your lungs) Blend in vanilla. Beat until light and fluffy. If necessary, adjust consistency with more milk or sugar.

Fondant:

Let's talk fondant for a moment. I'd suggest for your first time you but the stuff already made at your local Michael's, Joanns Fabrics or whatever so you know what it's supposed to feel like or this will be frustrating.

Recipe:

• 2 pounds confectioner's sugar, sifted
• 1/4 cup cold water
• 1 tablespoon unflavored gelatin
• 1/2 cup glucose (found in cake decorating stores) or white corn syrup
• 1 1/2 tablespoons glycerine (found in cake decorating stores)
• 1 teaspoon desired flavoring (vanilla will give the fondant an off-white color)
• Cornstarch

Instructions:

In a large bowl (do not use metal), sift the sugar and make a dainty well in the center. In a small saucepan, add the water and sprinkle the gelatin on top to soften for about 5 minutes. Begin to heat the gelatin and stir until the gelatin is dissolved and clear. Do not boil. Turn off the heat (you heatmeiser) and add the glucose and glycerine, stirring until well blended. Add the flavoring. Pour into the well of sugar, and mix until all of the sugar is blended. Use hands to knead icing until it becomes stiff. Add small amounts of confectioner's sugar if the ball-o-dough is sticky.

Form the mixture into a ball and wrap tightly in plastic wrap. Place in an airtight container. This icing works best if allowed to rest at room temperature for about eight hours before using, particularly if the weather is humid. Do not refrigerate.

You can color the fondant whatever your little heart desires, but I suggest purchasing the coloring that is gel like so you don't make the fondant any more sticky. If you are really adventurous I'd also get the fondant roller and mat, makes it more easy to handle.

FINAL STAGES:

I cut out circles with a glass and made my little decorations. Make sure the frosting on the cupcakes is fresh so the fondant has something to stick to and then have at it!!!

EPIC Cake

I made a 14 layer cake last night. What did you do?

This cake is VERY good and surprisingly easy to make, although time consuming.. So put on your "What's cooking good lookin'" apron and make a cake.

Ingredients:

Cake Batter:

• 1/2 cup shortening
• 1/2 cup butter
• 2 cups white sugar
• 6 eggs
• 3 cups milk
• 3 cups self-rising flour
• 2 teaspoons vanilla extract

"Frosting"

• 3 cups white sugar
• 1 cup butter
• 1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
• 1/4 cup water
• 2 cups evaporated milk

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Grease and flour 4 or 5 - 8 inch round cake pans. It's really important that you don't half ass the greasing, you'll totally jack up your ability to have a pretty cake.
2. In a VERY large bowl, cream together the shortening, 1/2 cup butter and 2 cups sugar until light and fluffy. (I tried just a regular mixing bowl and it overflowed) Add the eggs one at a time, beating well with each addition, then stir in the vanilla. Add the flour alternately with the 3 cups milk; beat well. Pour 3/4 cup of batter into each prepared pan, and spread evenly. It really seems like it's not enough in the pan, but trust me, it is. You will need to bake the layers in two or three batches.
   
3. Bake for 6 to 9 minutes in the preheated oven, just until the layers are dried out. Do not brown.You'll notice the cake is spongy looking and the edges will begin to shrink in from the sides. They aren't going to come out looking like regular sheet cake.
4. To make the frosting: *****VERY IMPORTANT YOU FOLLOW THIS TO A SCIENCE OR THE FROSTING WON'T SET**** In a large saucepan over medium heat, combine 3 cups sugar, 1 cup butter, cocoa, water and 2 cups evaporated milk. Bring the mixture to a rolling boil which means the entire top is boiling, cracking and moving liquid within the pot, stirring frequently, then boil for 2 minutes. Remove from heat and beat for two minutes with an electric mixer. Remove from heat and let cool for about 10minutes
   
5. Stack cake layers with icing in between, letting the icing run down the sides of the cake. Smooth the sides and top with the remaining icing.

Chocolate Covered Strawberries

For your love-ah. Or those annoying coworkers that you KNOW will kiss some Valentine's Day Ass with special cupcakes and crap. Perfect time for over-achieving.

What you'll need:

• About 3/4 to a pound of strawberries
• 20-26 oz back of semi-sweet chocolate morsels (I really wanted to use the word morsels)
• 16 ozs of white chocolate chips or be daring....peanutbutter morsels!
  
• 2-3 tbsps of butter
• toothpicks
• wax paper
  

Instructions:

Unless you are like an uber cook, you probably only have the standard pots and pans. So we'll do it the ghetto stylin' way. You need two pots, one larger and one smaller. Make sure the small one isn't too small so that it can hang out on the rim of the larger pot without falling in. Fill the larger pot enough to surround the smaller pots bottom and sides with water. Bring to a heafty boil. Place 2 tbsps of butter and and about a cup and a half of chocolate chips into the small pot. Melt but make sure to keep stirring.

Line a cookie sheet with wax paper. Place the toothpicks in the tops of the strawberries for easy dipping. Once the chocolate is runny and easy to imagine dipping stuff in, place each strawberry in the chocolate about 3/4 of the way to the top. Once adequately covered stick it on the cookie sheet to dry. Keep doing this until either you can't handle it anymore or you run out of strawberries. Place the sheet in the fridge to cool.

Clean up your small pot quickly. It's a pain to get solid chocolate off a cooled pot. Once clean, start the white chocolate. This time, only use about a tbsp of butter. White chocolate is thinner and easier to handle. Only use about 1 cup of the morsels though, you don't need as much. Once the white chocolate is melted remove your sheet from the fridge and get creative with your strawberries. You can drizzle them making pretty lines, or you can double dip them.

Ta-Daa (enjoy the craptastic cell phone picture)